Berry Breaks Bike – Again
August 13, 2009 on 3:22 pm | In Mountain Biking | 12 CommentsOkay, so maybe it doesn’t qualify as news.
Gunfighters of the Old West used to put a notch on the handle of their pistols. Some members of the Growlers Gulch Girls have been rumored to carve similar markings on their lipstick tubes.
Which leaves us to wonder, exactly how does Jack Berry register the repeated proof that there is no bike on the market that he cannot conquer?
And by conquer, we mean destroy.
On an outing with Lance Brigman and Rob Larsen at Lewis River last week, Berry tatered the rear triangle of his treasured Ventana. With six miles of the ride still ahead, he and Larsen attempted to make repairs.
Shockingly, Brigman had ridden off into the sunset at warp speed and was unaware that Jack was having a problem.
Larsen reportedly killed a small animal lurking near the trail, skinned it, and then removed several of the poor creature’s bones. Using the bones, packing tape, and several snap-ties, he did his best to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
We all know that Rob is one heck of a rider and a very skilled millwright, but if his efforts here (see photo) are any indication, he’s not much of a bike mechanic.
His repair job failed to give Berry – whose weight has reportedly ballooned to a portly 305 since Growlers was closed due to fire danger – enough support to finish the ride, leaving the Big Bike Breaker with no option but to hike out.
Meanwhile, Brigman, who had been waiting at the car for nearly two hours, entertained himself by riding to Cougar and back. He could only shake his head when he heard the news.
“Being one of Jack’s bikes is like being one of the wives of Henry VIII,” Brigman said.
A new rear triangle is on the way. Hopefully, no one at the factory told it that it is facing a very limited lifespan.
12 Comments »
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Man, there is no keeping up with this guy!
Comment by Ryan McMaster — August 26, 2009 #
Anyone else could have road out with that repair job. Jack was worried about a little brake drag.
Comment by rob — August 26, 2009 #
No worries, Ryan. You started riding at an early age. You have many years of bike-breaking ahead of you. Jack, on the other hand, is on his last legs.
Comment by Jim LeMonds — August 26, 2009 #
Love the McGiver repair using the bones. Very resourceful. Just don’t let the animal rights folks know of this repair.
Comment by Crumpster — August 26, 2009 #
If it breaks it was meant to be replaced anyways !
Comment by Randy Hill — August 26, 2009 #
This gives me an idea. Aluminum, bamboo, ti, steel, hardwood… Why not bone? Be an awesome stiff yet supple ride with an recycled content to boot! I would name mine ‘Da Bone’. We could make bikes out of squirrel, tiger, or really any animal. The true maniac could use human bone and if we played the cards right, we could make custom family heirloom frames with laser etched tombstone head badges of grandmas picture.
Don’t be buried in the ground, put yourself to good use after life is over and be reborn into a bike!
Comment by dennis veatch — August 26, 2009 #
I like this, Dennis. We could start by taking a look at the alleged “bikers” who never work on trail. They could become part of a donor lottery to get the ball (or, in this case, the bone) rolling.
Comment by Jim LeMonds — August 27, 2009 #
I knew I should of never shared the story. But…it is a good one!!!I am just glad Rob decided to stay back with me to help do repairs. Intially as soon as it broke and Rob saw what the problem was, he immediately pulled the usual Growlers quip. “Your gonna be a while,let me by, See ya”. If any of you Ventanna folks get this, just know I am still under the weight limit for the behemouth known as the “Captain”.
There is something to consider about Dennis idea. Hummm. PETA would most likly be “OK” with that one.
Comment by Kelso Jack — August 27, 2009 #
Bless your heart Jack! But I have to say that is some fancy doctoring!!
Comment by Mel — August 27, 2009 #
jack got back to the car just as we ran out of his beer and therefore had no reason to stay. it would have been a long push home.
Comment by lance — August 27, 2009 #
It’s all about the love Jack. Hey, I have a slightly used orange Cannondale you’re welcome to. It has a little break drag but the ride is so sweet you forget about it.
Comment by dave — August 27, 2009 #
Thanks for all the warm fuzzies!!
Have no fear, Ventana has already sent the new part. Anyboy up for this weekend?
Comment by Kelso Jack — August 27, 2009 #