Norris Dodges Growlers 5K

My, how the great have fallen.

TDG board member Paul Norris announced on Thursday that he would be unable to attend this year’s Growlers Gulch 5K. Norris, who finished 3rd at the 2007 event, said a “business conflict” will require him to fly to Geneva, Switzerland, on May 9th, which, coincidentally, happens to be the day of the 5K.

Thus, he will automatically forfeit any chance of earning all five wheels up for grabs on the 2009 Growlers ride circuit.

Happier Times - Unfortunately, Paul will not be part of the 2009 photo that features riders who earned every wheel

Asked to verify the authenticity of Norris’ travel plans, a spokesperson at Life-Port refused to comment – other than to say that Norris had requested to change his Geneva flight from May 16th to May 9th because of “unavoidable personal conflicts and fitness concerns.”

Dave LeMonds – still bitter over a series of unfortunate events in 2008 that left him with only three wheels, a certificate from the Health Department that authorizes him to run a snack cart, and a bucketful of abuse – called it a “sad, sad story.”

“After hearing Paul repeatedly remind me that I failed to get four wheels last year, I can only say how disappointed I am for him,” LeMonds said. “I hope he encounters a woman in a white jersey when he attempts to clear customs in Geneva.”

Paul’s wife, Melanie, was obviously distraught over the situation. “It’s a real tear-jerker,” she said. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to ride without him. Remind me again, what time does the 5K start? Do you want me to bring beer?”

We’ll miss you, Paul.