Norris Photo Sets Off Frenzy Among Lederhosen Police

For a country that is deadly serious about its neutrality, Switzerland has displayed a disturbing level of aggressiveness in an incident involving Paul Norris of the Growlers Gulch Cycling Team

Swiss authorities announced yesterday that they have temporarily denied Norris’ visa application. Norris, who was previously scheduled to fly to Geneva on May 9th as part of an alleged “business junket” for LifePort, Inc., will now be available to ride in the Growlers Gulch 5K , allowing him to retain his far-fetched dream of scoring five wheels during the 2009 ride season.

A spokesperson for the Swiss government would say only that Norris’ passport photo – shown below – was “a clear violation of protocol and a blatant mockery of Swiss culture. We hold our lederhosen in high regard.”

An official for the U.S. State Department said, “It doesn’t exactly qualify as a violation of the Patriot Act, but the photo is in very poor taste and could damage our reputation in the international community.”

A crime against Swiss culture

Norris refused to apologize. “Maybe all that high altitude is messing with their heads,” he said of the Swiss officials. “I think they should spend less time performing the Lewinski on the alpenhorn. That way, they wouldn’t need Ricola as a sore throat remedy, and they’d have time to develop a sense of humor.”

TDG board member Dave LeMonds called the situation “highly unusual” and suggested this may be a psychological ploy by Norris to gain an advantage during the GG5K. “I don’t know what it is,” LeMonds commented, “but he definitely has something up his lederhosen.”

The GG 5K is slated for May 9th and is the first of five events during the 2009 ride season at Growlers. Complete information, including a list of those who are registered for the 5K, can be viewed at http://writeteknorthwest.com/archives/652/sign-up-begins-for-gg5k.